All things betray…

When parents betray a child, the child is wary of betrayal. The child becomes the adult, and the adult is wary of betrayal. We walk the world with questions foremost in our minds: “Am I important to you? When will you let me down? When will you betray?” And we will look for all the ways the evidence points to any hint of betrayal. Parental betrayal scars deeply.

Can we ever have what our parents failed to give? Must we forever limp? If they didn’t help us to see our value, if they did not love us, if our value was in our use rather than in our being, that need to be valued, to be loved (in a parental way), to be acknowledged as important for who we are remains. And, let’s face it. we cannot look to any other and expect a parental response. That’s putting way too much on whomever happens to become our target for such longing. So, what can we do?

We can turn to God. We must turn to God.

The Bible tells us there will be such situations: “Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget you, I will never forget you” (Isaiah 49:15).

So, we ask ourselves, “How does God provide what a parent does not? How does God act as a parent? How did He? How does He?”

These are important questions. They are ones we get to ask. They are ones we must ask. And it is these questions that will begin (or continue) the most transformative back and forth we will ever experience.

Reflection

Are you ready to ask God to fill in all the holes within you that cry out?

Prayer

Dear God, I don’t know how to do this. I know I am wounded. I know I tend to look to other adults for way too much — affirmation, approval, acknowledgement. How does it feel to stand firm, knowing myself to be affirmed, approved of, and acknowledged? How does it feel to not have these aching holes within? Lead the way, Lord. Show me how to be open to hear You and to receive the help that is at hand. Amen.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).