I was dead

Oh, I was dead.

I hated everything and everyone. I hated God. I hated myself. I hid it well, of course. We all do, don’t we? Most of us who have been abused have learned how to be the perfect people, pleasing others, doing all we can to help, being the right-hand guy, while on the inside, we brood, we’re angry, we’re , well, dead.

It’s a good thing God knows how to raise the dead.

Have you noticed something poking and prodding you? Something that won’t let you give in totally to the dark themes you’re allowing to embrace you? Well, that’s God, so … hate away!

God can take being yelled at. God can take having rocks thrown. What God doesn’t like is indifference. God prefers arms crossed and scowls over luke-warm attitudes any day. Hate is fuel, and God can turn that right around. God can transform it into the one of the toughest forms of love there is.

Are you ready?

Reflection

How aware are you of God’s desire to raise you from the dead?

Prayer

Okay, God, I admit it. I’m dead. How I present on the outside isn’t at all how I am on the inside. I’m miserable. I’m angry. I hate!

In reality, God, I hurt, and You know this. I’m glad You are standing here. I’m glad You don’t mind me being mad right how. Help me to not walk away. Help me to keep looking at, keep listening to, keep engaging You. Amen.