It takes a lot of time

Photo taken at St. Joseph Retreat Center, Tipton, Indiana.

I’m forty years into healing, and the effects of child abuse still impact me greatly. Yes, greatly. I write this to emphasize the fact that what happens to us in childhood is, indeed, formative. We mustn’t think — nor expect — total healing in short order. That said, there are astounding discoveries and glimpses of God waiting for us along the way. These are what makes healing worthwhile and so very fruitful.

I spent my early years beneath the Crucifix. That image, Jesus on the cross, made sense to me. As I agonized, so did He. I wasn’t alone. As my mind whirled round and round looking for explanations, reasons, causes of my pain, I found myself landing right there and finding comfort, strength, and reason to go on.

That hasn’t changed. He hurts for me. He hurts for you. He hurts for the world. And that is not all He does. If we could see grace in physical form, the ground beneath the Crucifix would be covered with it. The air would be hanging with it. Ability. Ability. Ability.

Ability to make us whole? Yes, and in good time. There are too many gifts, realizations, and empowerments along the way to rush things. So, be patient. Be aware! And don’t judge yourself (or God) when things seem like they’re way too slow. There’s gift here.

Reflection

Might a particular slow way to healing intend to shine light on some gift, some realization, some wonder we need time to make our own?

Prayer

Dear God, I’m shocked and upset with myself that I’m still dealing with this particular issue or that one. Help me to see I’m not on the same ground I was before. These things just take time. They take looking at from different angles. What was formative will take time to change. May I not miss the wisdom, the gifts that You bring about as we bring our suffering to You beneath the Cross. Amen.