Our first image of God

Our first image of God comes from those who first care for us. For most of us, this will be our parents. Yes, our parents shape our first image of God. This can be good, or it can be bad.

If parents are manipulative? distant? cruel? Well, then, God will be manipulative, distant, cruel. We may not realize we’ve transferred these perceptions, but, believe me, they will be there. I noticed it again just last night.

I found myself feeling angry and resistant to praying. Upon a bit of reflection, I realized a memory from my childhood had been triggered. My mother had manipulated me into doing something I didn’t want to do, and when I did it, she looked at me with disdain. Yes, confusing and confounding! It is the normal stuff of abuse. My mother was not someone upon whom I could run to for comfort, for acknowledgment, for love. And still, after all these years, that betrayal was still getting transferred to God. I was expecting God to regard me with the same disdain, even as I prayed.

So, as I wrote in our last post, we must practice pulling off of God what was put there by parents (or other early caregivers) and deliberately build our own perception based on what we know, what we’ve experienced, what we’ve learned. (More on this next time.)

I like what God says in Jeremiah: “Again I will restore you, and you shall be rebuilt.” (Jeremiah 31:4) This verse tells us we’re not rebuilding our perception of God alone. God is overseeing the operation!

Reflection

Reflect on the image of God formed for you by your parents or early caregivers. What impact is it having on how you perceive God — and God’s regard of you — now?

Prayer

Dear God, thank you for your work within me. Do rebuild my perception of You. I want to trust You. I want to know I am loved and heard by You. I want to come into Your presence knowing You do not sigh when I do so. Rebuild me, Lord. Amen.