Rebirth is necessary

I catch myself thinking and behaving as if my father’s view of me is still operative. I hide my legs for fear they are too fat. I am very conscious of my belly. I project failed evaluations by others, and the shame, fear, guilt, and anger from those projected failed evaluations (!) is here, now, in my present life. I’ve left the door open, and my past came rushing right back in.

This is what we survivors of childhood trauma must realize: THE VIEWPOINTS OF OUR CHILDHOOD ARE NO LONGER OPERATIVE IN OUR PRESENT LIVES. We are adults now. We have power. We have choice. We have agency. We can realize the tremendous freedom of laying down the old and acquiring the new. Oh, for sure, we’ll have to put it down hundreds of times, in deliberate movements because that old shit is so much a part of us. But our efforts will pay off. Slowly but surely, we’ll acquire the viewpoint that is rooted in truth.

God will assist us in acquiring this truth. God’s grace will accompany every choice we make to put down the old and pick up the new, and that grace makes our efforts ten-times more substantial.

Put down the shame. Put down the self-hatred. Put down the fear of being seen as less than. Put down the fear of not mattering.

Pick up the unique glory of you! Pick up the self-acceptance God hands you. Pick up the courage to be seen and respected. Pick up the truth of being loved.

The only viewpoint that matters is the one God put into place. It empowers. It emboldens. It offers wisdom, compassion, patience, mercy. We know it because it builds up.

Let’s choose this.

Reflection

In what ways do you allow the past to determine your thoughts and actions? What steps can you take right now to put that down and pick up what is of God (realizing God’s grace is at the ready)?

Prayer

Dear God, may your grace flood my mind and heart. Help me to see what remains of my childhood, its viewpoints that tear me and others down. Help me to grasp the grace you offer me to put these down and pick up your view of all things. I am reborn in your view. May I choose over and over to be reborn. Amen.