Taking stock

Who are you? What are you? Where are you going?

Those are questions I could only answer with words that didn’t mean anything, and behind those meaningless words was anger. I didn’t know who I was! I didn’t know what I was, and I sure as hell didn’t know where I was going. I was mad. I was hurt. I was drowning.

What was I drowning in? Lies. It was a wonderful veneer I was keeping up. It may have served me well in our emotionally vacant world, the one where we’re supposed to suck it up and be strong! That works well superficially, but behind closed doors, I was miserable. I was spouting off. I was rage-filled.

I decided those around me deserved better. I decided I deserved better, and God? Oh, He was orchestrating this dis-ease of mine toward truth. I just needed to make the choice for Him or more of the same. I chose Him.

Do you need to choose God? If you’re tired of the rage, if you’re tired of the myriad lies you’re trying desperately to live by (such as: it can’t be better than this; I can’t be happy; everyone sucks; I am a loser), then lift that finger in God’s direction. Say yes, and then train every cell in your body to watch where God points. Oh, you’re in for a ride!

Reflection

How might God improve your life?

Prayer

Dear God, I’m sick of this. I am trying to tread water, but I’m losing. Can it be better than this? Can I actually be happy? Can I be just on the other side of joy? Can You show me? Please give me the courage to look Your way and the will to step toward You. Amen.