Dis-ease

My last post may have moved you toward God a bit. Yes, you’re sick of the way things are, the way the world is, the anger you feel all the time. But it’s not your fault, is it? It’s everyone else! It’s the selfishness of everyone else. It’s the betrayal of everyone else! You’d be just fine if people were decent! Yes?

What if people didn’t have to change at all in order for you to … feel better? What if it was possible for you to welcome a change into your demeanor, a bit of peace and even joy? What if the dis-ease you live with, you wake up in the morning with didn’t have to be and, in all actuality, isn’t reflective of the truth at the core of who you are?

Oh, I know! I get tight inside as I write these words! I remember how it felt! We have to hold tight onto that dis-ease! And why? Because it is the only witness to the horror we went through. It is the only thing standing that shouts the truth of the pain of our childhoods. And it matters, that pain. It matters because we matter.

But it’s killing us (and perhaps the relationships we have), so let’s see it for what it is. The dis-ease is a sign! It’s a warning! It’s a waving, glaring, shouting thing that is calling for our attention. And God is right here, ready to help us attend.

Reflection

Describe the dis-ease you live with.

Prayer

Okay, God, this is getting too close. This is making me madder, and why? I know! It’s hard to attend to this underlying negativity that seems to define me. Give me the courage to keep attending, even as my fear (masquerading as anger) looms large. I am worth feeling better. I am worth being better. Show me how, Lord. Amen.

Jeremiah 31:4