We don’t matter?

Another core belief of many adults abused as kids is this: We don’t matter. This destructive truth reveals itself in myriad ways. We don’t think we make an impact. Others have more value than do we. God isn’t going to bother with us. We’re not going to get that opportunity. Why, it’s as if we’re walking along invisibly, imperceptibly.

This core belief hid behind a “noble” banner in me. It wasn’t really noble, but I didn’t know that. My core was also informed by a misunderstanding of how God wanted things, so I figured thinking I didn’t matter was a good thing. And putting others first, even at my own expense, was something we Christians should do. Sounds noble, right? But what it did was just stop my development right there. I was so focused on pleasing others, I didn’t grow myself. I had no opinions, no desires, no boundaries. I let others define me. What they wanted, I became. I was, in fact, incredibly weak, incredibly vulnerable, and very detached from myself.

This is not what God wants. God wants us to become fully human beings! God wants us whole, holy! God wants us to establish ourselves, realize what power we wield when we’re healthy and mature and in touch with his grace!

We confuse humility with self-deprecation. Humility is an awareness of what’s true, and what’s true is this: each of us is a mighty creature of God, and when we’re confident, aware, and humble, oh my! We matter. We matter very much, indeed!

Reflection

Compare how you feel when you are proud of yourself versus how you feel when you are self-deprecating. Which is more empowering?

Prayer

Dear God, help me to see myself as you see me. May i spend some time with Psalm 139:14. Teach me what true humility is, Lord. I do matter, to you, to others. May I matter to myself. Amen.